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Hey there! Let me introduce you to someone pretty cool I got to chat with recently—Harley Seelbinder. Harley is not just another student at college; he's also stepping into the online business world.
What he's up to is pretty bold. Harley is helping folks—guys and gals alike—make some big, often scary changes. And we're not talking easy, everyday stuff here. He's tackling topics that most people would rather not touch, especially in the wide-open world of the internet.
So, stick around as we get into the nitty-gritty of what Harley's working on!
Harley's focus right now is pretty specific and incredibly impactful—he helps men, especially those in relationships, quit pornography. It seems that this issue tends to hit hardest for guys who are already partnered up. They might be facing challenges like decreased intimacy or increased temptation, which can really shake up a relationship.
From what Harley's seen—and from my own observations too—cutting out pornography can clear up a lot of mental space. Suddenly, there's less distraction, and a whole lot more room for growth. We're talking personal growth, relational growth, spiritual growth—you name it. Removing that one element can open up pathways to improve in so many areas of life.
Harley isn't just talking the talk; he's walking the walk by building communities where people can really make these changes stick. He's set up a few different groups:
Harley's journey into helping others quit pornography is deeply personal. It started from a tough lesson in his own life. He realized that his habit had seriously harmed his previous relationship—it created a rift so wide that his partner felt underappreciated and overlooked. This realization hit hard when his relationship ended because of these issues. Harley found himself at rock bottom, and that's when he knew something had to change.
Determined not to let his past mistakes affect his future relationships, Harley decided to take control. He recognized the power of his actions and their impact on his relationships. This awakening spurred him to start making videos to help others facing similar struggles. Knowing how taboo this topic can be, Harley embraced his unique perspective and dove headfirst into the challenge, committed to being the guy who could make a difference.
If you're inspired by Harley's story and thinking about making a change in your own life, here are some actionable tips to get you started:
Harley's life has taken a huge turn for the better since he decided to make a big change. The first thing he noticed? "I don't feel ashamed anymore. No more lying, no more secrets, and definitely no more panic when someone might grab my phone," he says. It's a relief not to carry around that weight of guilt all the time. This shift isn't just about feeling better; it's about gaining real self-respect and trust in himself.
Plus, being transparent about his day-to-day life has been liberating. "Imagine having to make up stories about what you did all day because you spent hours watching porn. Now, I can actually tell people the truth about how I spend my time, and porn isn't part of that conversation," Harley explains. This honesty has really changed how he feels about himself and improved his relationships.
Harley's new approach has also made a huge difference in his romantic life:
Harley gets real about messing up and learning from it. He starts off with, "Let's dive into what we could do better next time. A lot of it is just recognizing what went wrong," showing how important it is to admit when you've slipped. He adds, "I made this mistake because of this. Next time I feel that way, I’m gonna try something different."
He also talks about how his crew helps keep him honest. "I know Harley's gonna grill me about this next week, so I better have my act together," he says. This way, every slip-up turns into a chance to get better, and there's no shame in that—just lessons.
Harley opens up about his daily grind on social media. "I make a clip every single day and I post like a tweet or a shot on Instagram every single day," he explains. Initially, he admits he wasn't quite sure of his approach, saying, "For a while, I kind of didn't fully know what I was doing. I'm still, of course, trying to figure it out." He reflects on how he wants his messages to resonate with empathy and genuine care, providing real value without demanding too much from his audience.
He realized he might have been asking for too much interaction in the past. "Like follow, save this post, comment and like—well, that's fine, and it’s good for engagement if they do that. But sometimes, maybe some of my videos were a little too salesy," he admits. Recently, he's made a shift: "I kind of tried to sneak an entire switcheroo where I built this free community and this very kind of cheap community." His new goal? "Let's just go back to the basics again and truly give them step-by-steps completely for free."
Harley gives us a peek into the other parts of his life that keep him busy and contribute to his unique approach. "Maybe I don't promote it much, but I've had a podcast for two years before I even started this thing," he shares, talking about how interviewing a variety of people has honed his communication skills. On top of that, he runs a cleaning business back in his hometown and is also deep into an engineering school program. "I’m very into fitness too—I like to think I'm pretty well-rounded."
His diverse experiences have not only shaped him into a good communicator but also into someone with strong people skills. "I grew up kind of managing people. I’m not trying to brag, but maybe what sets me apart is this whole journey from porn thing that I built," Harley reflects. But that’s just the beginning for him. "This is honestly just step one. You quit porn—great. Now, Harley can help you get in better shape, improve your relationships, boost your grades, or even start a service business."
Harley stresses the importance of self-awareness in the process of overcoming addiction. "I think the first thing you kind of have to do is do some introspection," he explains. It's crucial to ask yourself the tough questions about why you want to quit pornography. "Like, I've talked to some people, and it turns out pornography isn't actually their main problem—it's something else. But you start by diving in and figuring out how it's really impacting you."
He encourages starting with a deep dive into the 'big why'. "Ask yourself how pornography has affected your physical, mental, and spiritual health, and how it's impacted the people around you," Harley says. Writing down these insights can clarify whether pornography is a root problem or a symptom of something deeper. "If all signs point to pornography being a major issue, that's a solid first step."
Alright, so here's the takeaway from chatting with Harley: Getting real with yourself and having a solid support group can seriously help you tackle whatever's holding you back. It’s not just about dropping a bad habit—it’s about figuring out why you got into it and then getting the right people around you to help push through.
If you’re feeling stuck with something, take a leaf out of Harley’s book. Just be honest about what's going on, jot it down, talk it out, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help. It’s all about keeping things simple and making sure you’re not going it alone. Harley's approach shows that being open and having folks in your corner can really make a difference in turning things around.
If you want to learn more about Harley, check him out here!
Harley helps people, especially men in relationships, quit pornography. He's also into fitness, runs a cleaning business, and does a bit of everything to help folks improve different areas of their lives.
Harley offers support through online communities. He’s got a free community where anyone can join, plus some tiered options that provide more personal support and accountability.
Harley believes having a strong support network is crucial. It makes you accountable and motivates you to stick to your goals. Sharing your journey with others who understand can really boost your chances of success.
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